The Grumpy Schnauzer is an adults-only, couples-only retreat, made for relaxing, romance and reconnecting. Think slow mornings, starry Hot Tub nights and making memories together.

We're a calm, peaceful place rather than a party venue, so please keep the vibe chilled and considerate of other guests.

🛁 Hot Tub: It's all yours until 10.30pm. Please pop the lid back on after your soak.

🎶 Music: Outdoor music is welcome at low volume and switched off by 9.30pm.

⚠️ Slippy floor: The floor gets very slippy when you come in from the Hot Tub in wet slippers, so please be careful!

🐶 The Grumpies: Our miniature schnauzers live here too, so please always close the front door behind you.

🐾 No dogs: Sorry, no dogs allowed. The Grumpies have made it very clear there's only room for five of them here!

🚬 Smoking: You're welcome to smoke whatever you like outside, in the Hot Tub area or garden (tea bags or broccoli included!), just never indoors. Please pop any rubbish in the bin. If we find you've been smoking inside, a £200 cleaning fee is charged to your card.

🛠️ Damage: Any damage caused during your stay will be charged to your card. Please treat our home like your own 😊

🔑 Lost keys: A £25 charge applies if a key is lost.

And lastly, have fun!

Mara Rose 🌹